What is Falling In Love?

Does love really turn the world upside down? I am reading a book by M Scott Peck, "The Road Less Travelled" I am so amused by his definition of the word love. I just want to present the realities of the love, and the process of falling in love. I hope that you will be enlightened. Here it is; He has presented 5 difinition of love;

First: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.

Second: Love is a strangely circular process, For the process of extending one's self is an evolutionary process, thus the act of loving is an act of self- evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone elses growth.

Third: the Unitary definition of Love includes self-love with love for the other.

Fourth:The act of extending one's limit implies effort. like when we love someone our love become real or demonstrable or real only through our exertion through the fact that for that someone(or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile.Love is not effortless, to the contrary, Love is effortful.

Fifth:The desire to love is not love itself love. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies no choice. We do not love have to love.We choose to love. No matter how much we think we are loving, if we are infact not loving, it is because we have chosen not to love and therefore do not love despite our good intentions.

Another thing that i learned is his explaination about "Falling in Love" which really change my view of the term he said 'We fall inlove only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated, the experience of falling inlove is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall inlove with, we sooner or later we fall out of love if the relationshp continues long enough.This is not to say that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell inlove with. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterizes the experience of falling inlove always passes.

The honeymoon always ends, and the bloom of romance always fades We can choose how to respond to the experience of falling in love, but we cannot choose the experience itself. Falling inlove is not an extension of ones limit or boundaries; it is a partial and temporary collapse of them.

The extensions of ones limit requires effort; Falling inlove is effortless, while Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience. Falling inlove is not. Indeed, after we have fallen in love and fallen out of love again we feel that we have arrived, that the heights have been attaned.

So if falling in love is not love, then what is it other than a temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specifity of the phenomenom leads to suspect that it is generally determined instinctual components of mating behavior. In other words, the temporary collapse of ego boundaries that constitutes falling inlove is a stereotypic response of human beings to configuration of internal sexual drives and external stimuli, which serves to increase the probability of sexual pairing and bonding so as to enhance the survival of species.its a trick that our genes pull on our otherwise perceptive mind to hoodwink or trap us into marriage...

So the question now for you LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... DO YOU STILL WANT TO FALL INLOVE???

REFERENCE:

Peck, Scott (1978). The road less traveled : a new psychology of love, traditional values, and spiritual growth.