I wanted to remember something from the past... let me start it by selecting some of the loveletters and the Poems that was sent to me by Arthur... Untill now i still consider him special because even though this letters was given to me a long time ago... I kept them all in my heart forever...
Part of our being so close was the power to read eachother's mind! One time I bought a poster with a poem entitled "TRUE LOVE" I was supposed to give it to him in one of my vacation from school... But I was then so excited! so I told him over the phone that i had a surprised for him! but he cut me of by saying that he also had a surprise for me and he want to tell me about it! and he qoute it! so instead I would recite this poem, He was the one who recited it to me first from the other line! I was shocked and speechless coz I never mentioned to him my surprise! I shivered everytime I think about the incident.. I did not think that its possible that we have the same Poem in mind..here is the "Poem" Actually he made a melody of this poem.
TRUE LOVE
I do believe the Lord above
created you for me to love
He picked you up from all the rest
because he knows I love you best
I have a heart and that is true
but it was given from me to you
so care for it like what I do
for I have mine and you have too.
When I go to heaven and your not there
I'll wait for you on a golden stair
But if you'll not come on the judgement day
I know you went the other way
So il return with my angels wings
My golden lamp and everything
To prove to you my love is real
Il go with you wherever you go...
He is someone that I used to love, but now he is gone, He played a big part in my life, I learned a lot from him. Even now he is not anymore with me, I treasured all the memories that I once shared with him. I only choose the letters below from the many letters that he sent to me, actually part of the memories are the poems he wrote for me and the songs that he composed for me and also the paintings that he made for me... Of course not to mentioned the songs that we used to sing together...
Unfortunately we were not meant for eachother..It was right love but wrong time, its like the song of Barry Manillow "Somewhere Down the Road" But I never regretted those moments of happiness, when i was with him, and the moment of sadness everytime I am apart from him, for 3 years in my life, He was my First thought in the morning and my last thought in the evening. No words can express the pain and the sorrow when we have to end the relationship. I was able to move on after two years of grieving, I have come to accept within my self the pain of losing someone i love..Time is against me, I cannot do anything but to accept and go with the flow and let time heal the wounds that was left to me.
This is the very reason why its so hard for me to love again, to trust again, because I had been hurt so much from the past.
LOVELETTERS
The First letter:
Thursday
11-06-1997
10:36 P.M.
Julieh,
Each night that falls so softly
I could only think of you
The thought of you overwhelms me
As I slowly close my eyes.
Each day that breaks so brightly
I couldnt wait not to see you
But to be with you again
Is what I long to do
Each word that come out
From my lips for you to hear
And each word that caress
the wind come straight from my heart..
Its hard to say I love you
From the momeny I fell in love with you..
I poured out my feelings .
I.ve said many things except to say: Happy Birthday....
Arthur
Second letter:
12-09-1997
Julieh,
Hello!
Its hard to show
How much I care
for you!
For just: Holding
Your hand, Touching your hair, looking
at you,Talking & laughing with you....
I can't do so.
(you know the distance)
Remember:
"Actions & (may I use)
Words can't express how much
I LOVE YOU!"
SEE YOU SOON!
Arthur
Third letter:
02-14-1998
julieh,
Personal beauty is greater recommendation
than any letter of Introduction...
But if jill's inlove, shes no judge of jacks handsomeness! Nakks! I dont mean
i'm handsome, For I'm not. I just want you to smile, smile that cost nothing but pays the care so much..On this special day I want to say " to have turned away from everything to one face, is to find oneself face to face with everything" yeah! coz it's the geart that experienced true love not reason on this specail day I ant to say "thank you" for giving me the essential gift of love, that is helping me love myself. Lastly 'lost time can never be found again" will be my morning prayer if I can't say : Happy Valentines Day..
labyumats,
Arthur
Fourth letter:
09-22-1998
julieh,
As the end of our schedules is approaching...
I can't imagine how painful it is...
Here is all I can say:
" I never regretted even an inch in loving you!"
Yeah, its almost a year.....
I love you! & I knew that you love me too!
You deserved the love i've been given you...
Sometimes I dont know how to thank you...
So thank You for loving me...
May all your dreams come true!
Vale!
Arthur
POEMS
Love Is The Reason
Would I search for reason beyond this ample horizon
In the vast blue sky shoud I there try...
To see reason behind this silent battle of mine
In such endless struggle in love sweet turmoil...
What reasons are that I long for you
Unearth what nature has to do with love
What reason exist be such a bliss
And to leave a sigh when you are closed by...
To always think of yoy from a distant star
Yet to vision you, should it be fro afar...
That I care is true
Is this reason to?
And amidst life confusion.....Love is the reason...
I Wish To Be With You
Whereever you are I wish to be with you
To let you know how much I feel for you
When you were here you used to care for me
In times of trouble you comforted me
I wish you were here by my side
To ease the pain I felt inside
I missed your smile, I missed your touch
I missed the times we shared together
How I wish yoy were here
But now you're so far away
And as I go along my way
How I wish I could see you again.
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