Painful Sexual Intercourse (Dyspareunia)

Pain during or after sexual intercourse is known as dyspareunia. Although this problem can affect men, it is more common in women. Women with dyspareunia may have pain in the vagina, clitoris or labia.

There are numerous causes of dyspareunia, many of which are treatable. Common causes include the following:

Vaginal dryness.

Atrophic vaginitis, a common condition causing thinning of the vaginal lining in postmenopausal women.

Side effects of drugs such as antihistamines and tamoxifen (Nolvadex and other brands)
An allergic reaction to clothing, spermicides or douches

Endometriosis, an often painful condition in which tissue from the uterine lining migrates and grows abnormally inside the pelvis

Inflammation of the area surrounding the vaginal opening, called vulvar vestibulitis
Skin diseases, such as lichen planus and lichen sclerosis, affecting the vaginal area

Urinary tract infections, vaginal yeast infections, or sexually transmitted diseases
Psychological trauma, often stemming from a past history of sexual abuse or trauma.

SYMPTOMS:

Women with dyspareunia may feel superficial pain at the entrance of the vagina, or deeper pain during penetration or thrusting of the penis. Some women also may experience severe tightening of the vaginal muscles during penetration, a condition called vaginismus.

DIAGNOSIS:


Dyspareunia typically is diagnosed based on your symptoms. Your medical and sexual history and your physical examination will help your doctor to determine the cause of your symptoms.

Distinguishing pain that occurs with touching the genitals or early penetration from pain that occurs with deeper penetration is a clue to the cause of your symptoms. Therefore, your doctor will ask you questions about the exact location, length and timing of your pain. He or she also will ask you:

If there was ever a time you had painless intercourse, or if you have always had dyspareunia
If you have enough natural lubrication, and if your symptoms improve if you use commercially available lubricants

About your sexual history (to help assess your risk for sexually transmitted infections)
If you have ever been sexually abused, or had a traumatic injury involving your genitals

In addition:

If you are middle-aged, your doctor will ask whether you are experiencing irregular periods, hot flashes or vaginal dryness, symptoms suggesting that you may have atrophic vaginitis.
If you are a new mother, your doctor will ask whether you are breastfeeding your baby, because breastfeeding also can lead to vaginal dryness and dyspareunia

During the physical examination, your doctor will check your vaginal wall for signs of dryness, inflammation, infection (especially yeast or herpes infection), genital warts and scarring. Your doctor also will do an internal pelvic examination to look for abnormal pelvic masses, tenderness or signs of endometriosis. He or she also may suggest that you speak with a counselor to determine whether a history of sexual abuse, trauma or anxiety may be contributing to your symptoms.

PREVENTION


Although some causes of dyspareunia, such as a history of sexual abuse or trauma, can't be avoided, other causes can be prevented:

To decrease your risk of yeast infection, avoid tight clothing, wear cotton underpants and practice good hygiene. Change your underclothes after prolonged sweating. Bathe or shower daily, and change into dry clothing promptly after swimming.

To avoid bladder infections, wipe from front to back after using the toilet, and urinate after sexual intercourse.

To avoid sexually transmitted diseases, avoid sex or practice safe sex by maintaining a relationship with just one person, or using condoms to protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

To prevent vaginal dryness, use a lubricant, or seek treatment if the dryness is due to atrophic vaginitis.

TREATMENT


Treatment depends on the cause of dyspareunia:

If vaginal dryness is the problem, you can ease penetration and sexual intercourse with increased clitoral stimulation before intercourse or lubrication with an over-the-counter lubricant such as K-Y jelly, Replens or Astroglide.

For vaginal yeast infections, you will be given antifungal medication.

Antibiotics will be prescribed for urinary tract infections or sexually transmitted diseases.

To relieve painful inflammation, try sitz baths, which are warm-water baths in a sitting position.

For skin diseases affecting the vaginal area, the treatment will vary depending on the disease.

For example, lichen sclerosis and lichen planus often improve with steroid creams.

For vulvar vestibulitis, typical therapies include topical estrogen cream, low-dose pain medications, and physical therapy with biofeedback to lower the muscle tension in the pelvic floor.

For atrophic vaginitis, estrogen therapy will be prescribed, either as a vaginal formulation or as a pill.

If endometriosis is causing your dyspareunia, you may be prescribed medication or you may need surgical procedures to control or remove abnormal growths of uterine tissue.

For dyspareunia that has no apparent physical cause or has lasted for months or years, you may need psychological counseling to address stress or anxiety regarding sexual intercourse.

If you have endometriosis, avoid very deep penetration, or have sex during the week or two after menstruation (before ovulation), when the condition tends to be less painful

If you love her

The Analogist: IF you love someone ANDthis someone doesn't love u;THEREFORE you should set her free

Optimist: If you love someone, Set herfree...Don't worry, she'll comeback.

Pessimist: If you love someone, Sether free... If she ever comes back,she's yours, If she doesn't, asexpected, shenever was. Whatever gave you the ideathat she would anyway?

Suspicious: If you love someone, Sether free...If she ever comes back, askher why.

Impatient: If you love someone, Sether free...If she doesn't come backwithin a week forget her

Patient: If you love someone, Set herfree...If she doesn't come back putyour life on hold and sit and wait.

Playful: If you love someone, Set herfree...If she comes back, *and if youlove her still, set her free again,repeat*

Lawyers:If you love someone, Set herfree, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a - 1in the 2nd amendment of theMatrimonial Freedom Act clearly statesthat...

Bill Gates : If you love someone, Sether free, Ifshe comes back, I think we can chargeher for re-installation fees and tellher that she's also going to get anupgrade.

Osama Bin Laden: If you love someoneset her free if she doesn't come backset bombs to bomb her.

Biologist: If you love someone, Sether free, She'll evolve.

Statisticians: If you love someone,Set her free, If she loves you, theprobability of her coming back ishigh. If she doesn't, your relationshipwas improbable anyway.

MacArthur fans: If you love someone,Set her free,SHE SHALL RETURN!

Overpossessive person: If you lovesomeone, don't set her free.T

he FBI agent: If you love someone,set her free. Then putbug on her phone and surveillancecameras in her house.

The Pathetic: If you love someone, sether free. Who wants to be stuck witha loser like you anyway?

The Lawyer: If you love someone, sether free.Then sue her for emotionaldistress.

The Psycho: If you love someone, sether free. If she doesn't come backshoot her.The Creepy Sociopath: If you lovesomeone, stalk her.

The Psychologist: If u love someoneset her free but studyher mind and her defense mechanisms ifshe still loves u

The Marketer: If u love someone sether free if she comes back sell her

The Nature lover: If u love someoneset her free if shecomes back plant a tree.

The Human Ecologist: If you lovesomeone, Set her free, Infact, all living creatures deserve tobe free..

Lately, everything sink in my mind. Now i can look back to my life, what really happened to me, Love is sometimes strange, it would always come to where you dont expect it, I had been inlove many times before and it always end me up crying. Because of frustrations, expectations and wishes that never happened, maybe thats why i like to listen to lovesongs. Its like a comfort to me, why did composers write those songs? Its because they also experienced what i felt, and why do singers sing the songs well, because of the emotions and they exert more feelings to it, to give life to the lyrics of the song that leave the listeners breathless plus remembering the moments of happiness, sadness and bliss. I always have opinion in another people's problem, its because everytime someone would tell me a situation, its like ' Id been there' thats why i can easily give advice to them on how should they cope up with it.Sad to say that my life is more on bitterness than happiness, more on loving than me being love, Its me who always give, not thinking of any return at all, and when I love its me who exert all effort to make the relationship work, thats why those boyfriends that i had in the past told me that im just too possessive, well maybe because i dont want to lose them, thats why i become like that. But the saddest moment in my life was when the person i expected to be my husband get married to someone else not me. Maybe it started all there, I learned to know the other side of me. The Julieh that I never thought I would be. Though I can say that im over with it now, but it still leave me pain everytime i remember it, like I always think that maybe this world was so cruel to me.But i learned that everything happened to my life has many reasons and purpose, maybe it moulded me to become the person i am now. It tought me to be strong and not to give up on situations that I thought i could not anymore handle.I experienced crying the whole night, staring in one direction all the time, because I cannot accept that i was being jilted by a lover, in exchange of one of my trusted friends. Frequently my friends are the one who always betrays me. Maybe because my life is an open book to them, I never hide anything to my friends, The julieh they meet the first time will always be the julieh they know forever. Im not the type of person that hide my skeletons in the closet, part of being me is my expressive nature, i do speak whats in my mind, and i always give the best that I ever had in every situation, I am a happy person, Inspite of all the downfull that I had in the past, I dont want to be miserable, thats why i always smile, inspite of the storms that i experienced in my life, I always take time to look happy, Smile has contagious effect, and i know that i have the power to make other people smile too! My only wish in this life is to find someone who would love me for who i am.

I was Inspired!

Lately i have busy weekends for the whole month of January, its because of our mock bar examination, yesterday at lunch I happened to see an old friend, and im happy to know that she is recovering from an operation she had, since she was diagnosed of a breast cancer, im happy to see her again after almost 1 year.And she looked very healthy! thanks God!

What transpired in our conversation was the failures we had in the past and what we do to move on. She said to me that; " Life does not consist of how many times you fail and stumble, But it is how you rise up again everytime you fall down." she said that everytime she saw me she is very much encouraged for the joyfulness she saw in my face. Its an honor to have a comment like that from her, since she is my idol, I really looked up to her.

And because of that, my urge to continue my studies have resurfaced again, I mean i started to plan how to build up my castles in the sand again which was was ripped badly by the storms that has passed in my life last year.Im so inspired and im really looking forward in reading all my books again for the preparation on next year bar examination hopefully if I will be able to make it next year for graduation. I made so many plans ahead and i am so determined in doing everyting to reach the goals that i have set up for my self.

Now i can say that i have no fear anymore, maybe id still bend, if i will meet another storm again but I know in my self that coming storm will never ripped the castle that i will build again, coz i will build it on the rock, not anymore in the sand. And I will always remember what my friend shared to me that the most important thing in this life's journey is "to Stand Up everytime time we fall"

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertan for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much,
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
and You learn
and You learn
with every GOODBYE, you Learn...

5 Tips for Getting Intimate After a Heart Attack

It may feel scary to have sex after surviving a heart attack, but often it's just what the doctor ordered. When you're ready, try these suggestions for successful lovemaking.

1. Find a time when you are both rested and relaxed. This may be in the morning or after a nap.

2. Choose a place that's comfortable and familiar, where you won't be interrupted.

3. Take any medications your doctor may have prescribed for you to use before sex.

4. Don't feel that you need to have intercourse right away. Cuddling and caressing may be a more comfortable way to start.

5. Talk to your partner about any concerns you have. Be understanding of the emotions that both of you may be experiencing.

5 SIGNS OF OVARIAN CYSTS

Ovarian cysts are small sacs of fluid or semi-solid material that form on a woman's ovary.

Most of the time they do not indicate disease, and they may go away without treatment within a few months. But the U.S. National Library of Medicine (NLM) says you should see your doctor if you have any symptoms to rule out a more serious condition.

Here is the NLM's list of the most common symptoms of ovarian cysts:

1. Dull, persistent pain in the abdomen.
2. Pain during menstruation, intercourse, bowel movements or movement of the pelvis.
3. Unusual uterine bleeding or abnormal menstrual cycles.
4. Missing a period.
5. Bloated or swollen abdomen.

Letters from Arthur...

I wanted to remember something from the past... let me start it by selecting some of the loveletters and the Poems that was sent to me by Arthur... Untill now i still consider him special because even though this letters was given to me a long time ago... I kept them all in my heart forever...

Part of our being so close was the power to read eachother's mind! One time I bought a poster with a poem entitled "TRUE LOVE" I was supposed to give it to him in one of my vacation from school... But I was then so excited! so I told him over the phone that i had a surprised for him! but he cut me of by saying that he also had a surprise for me and he want to tell me about it! and he qoute it! so instead I would recite this poem, He was the one who recited it to me first from the other line! I was shocked and speechless coz I never mentioned to him my surprise! I shivered everytime I think about the incident.. I did not think that its possible that we have the same Poem in mind..here is the "Poem" Actually he made a melody of this poem.

TRUE LOVE



I do believe the Lord above

created you for me to love

He picked you up from all the rest

because he knows I love you best



I have a heart and that is true

but it was given from me to you

so care for it like what I do

for I have mine and you have too.



When I go to heaven and your not there

I'll wait for you on a golden stair

But if you'll not come on the judgement day

I know you went the other way



So il return with my angels wings

My golden lamp and everything

To prove to you my love is real

Il go with you wherever you go...

He is someone that I used to love, but now he is gone, He played a big part in my life, I learned a lot from him. Even now he is not anymore with me, I treasured all the memories that I once shared with him. I only choose the letters below from the many letters that he sent to me, actually part of the memories are the poems he wrote for me and the songs that he composed for me and also the paintings that he made for me... Of course not to mentioned the songs that we used to sing together...

Unfortunately we were not meant for eachother..It was right love but wrong time, its like the song of Barry Manillow "Somewhere Down the Road" But I never regretted those moments of happiness, when i was with him, and the moment of sadness everytime I am apart from him, for 3 years in my life, He was my First thought in the morning and my last thought in the evening. No words can express the pain and the sorrow when we have to end the relationship. I was able to move on after two years of grieving, I have come to accept within my self the pain of losing someone i love..Time is against me, I cannot do anything but to accept and go with the flow and let time heal the wounds that was left to me.

This is the very reason why its so hard for me to love again, to trust again, because I had been hurt so much from the past.

LOVELETTERS


The First letter:



Thursday

11-06-1997

10:36 P.M.



Julieh,



Each night that falls so softly

I could only think of you

The thought of you overwhelms me

As I slowly close my eyes.



Each day that breaks so brightly

I couldnt wait not to see you

But to be with you again

Is what I long to do



Each word that come out

From my lips for you to hear

And each word that caress

the wind come straight from my heart..



Its hard to say I love you

From the momeny I fell in love with you..

I poured out my feelings .

I.ve said many things except to say: Happy Birthday....



Arthur



Second letter:



12-09-1997



Julieh,



Hello!



Its hard to show

How much I care

for you!

For just: Holding

Your hand, Touching your hair, looking

at you,Talking & laughing with you....

I can't do so.

(you know the distance)

Remember:

"Actions & (may I use)

Words can't express how much

I LOVE YOU!"



SEE YOU SOON!



Arthur





Third letter:



02-14-1998

julieh,

Personal beauty is greater recommendation
than any letter of Introduction...
But if jill's inlove, shes no judge of jacks handsomeness! Nakks! I dont mean
i'm handsome, For I'm not. I just want you to smile, smile that cost nothing but pays the care so much..On this special day I want to say " to have turned away from everything to one face, is to find oneself face to face with everything" yeah! coz it's the geart that experienced true love not reason on this specail day I ant to say "thank you" for giving me the essential gift of love, that is helping me love myself. Lastly 'lost time can never be found again" will be my morning prayer if I can't say : Happy Valentines Day..



labyumats,



Arthur



Fourth letter:



09-22-1998



julieh,



As the end of our schedules is approaching...

I can't imagine how painful it is...

Here is all I can say:

" I never regretted even an inch in loving you!"

Yeah, its almost a year.....

I love you! & I knew that you love me too!

You deserved the love i've been given you...

Sometimes I dont know how to thank you...

So thank You for loving me...

May all your dreams come true!



Vale!



Arthur



POEMS



Love Is The Reason



Would I search for reason beyond this ample horizon

In the vast blue sky shoud I there try...

To see reason behind this silent battle of mine

In such endless struggle in love sweet turmoil...



What reasons are that I long for you

Unearth what nature has to do with love

What reason exist be such a bliss

And to leave a sigh when you are closed by...



To always think of yoy from a distant star

Yet to vision you, should it be fro afar...



That I care is true

Is this reason to?

And amidst life confusion.....Love is the reason...



I Wish To Be With You



Whereever you are I wish to be with you

To let you know how much I feel for you

When you were here you used to care for me

In times of trouble you comforted me



I wish you were here by my side

To ease the pain I felt inside

I missed your smile, I missed your touch

I missed the times we shared together

How I wish yoy were here



But now you're so far away

And as I go along my way

How I wish I could see you again.

Battle up Insomnia!

Although the amount of sleep a person needs varies, most people require between seven and eight hours a night to feel rested. Constantly battling insomnia can cause problems during the day, such as excessive fatigue, trouble focusing or thinking clearly, and feeling depressed or irritable.

If your insomnia makes it hard for you to function during the day, you should talk to your doctor about strategies to get yourself on a regular sleep schedule. Consider following these suggestions:

1. Try to go to sleep the same time each night and get up the same time each morning.


2. Do not take naps after 3 p.m.


3. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol late in the day or at night.


4. Get regular exercise. Exercise during the day — make sure you exercise at least five to six hours before bedtime.


5. Make sure you eat dinner at least two to three hours before bedtime.


6. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool. If light is a problem, try a sleeping mask. If noise is a problem, try earplugs, a fan, or a "white noise" machine to cover up the sounds.


7. Follow a routine to help you relax and unwind before sleep, such as reading a book, listening to music, or taking a bath.


8. If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes or don't feel drowsy, get up and read or do something that is not too active until you feel sleepy. Then try going back to bed.


9. If you lay awake worrying about things, try making a to-do list before you go to bed.


10. Use your bed only for sleep and sex.

"Put the Fun Back Into Sex "

Even in the best relationship, especially for husband and wife, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information and a positive outlook, you should be able to maintain a healthy sex life for many years to come.

Be adventurous

Maybe you've never had sex on the kitchen floor or in the garage; now might be the time to try it. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from checking out an X-rated movie at the local video store might make you feel frisky.

Be sensual

Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses. Concentrate on the feel of silk against your skin, the beat of lusty Latin jazz, the perfumed scent of flowers around the room, the soft focus of candlelight, and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit. Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner.

Be playful

Leave love notes in your partner's pocket for him or her to find later. Take a bubble bath together — the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub is a great lead-in to sex. Tickle. Laugh.

Be Creative

Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts. For example, if you're used to making love on Saturday night, choose Sunday morning instead. Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you never have before.
Be romantic. Read poetry to each other under a tree on a hillside. Surprise each other with flowers when it isn't a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate.

"5 Ways to Stay Healthy during Menopause"

Stay Healthy During Menopause

Menopause usually starts around age 51 but can begin as early as 30 or as late as the mid-50s.During menopause, estrogen decreases, which can lead to many changes in your body. You may find it harder to fall asleep, or stay asleep. You may be irritable. You may find yourself gaining weight around your waist that is impossible to lose. You may have "hot flashes," a warm feeling that spreads up your neck and face.

To stay healthy during this time, the U.S. National Institutes of Health's National Institute on Aging recommends you:

• Eat a healthy diet, with lots of fruits and vegetables.


• Don't smoke.


• Make sure you get enough calcium and Vitamin D.


• Learn what your healthy weight is, and try to stay there.


• Do weight-bearing exercises.

Oral Sex In Marriage???

I was browsing an article about sex and marriage, I happened to come across with this; Oral Sex in Marriage topic. What does the Church says about this?

"Now, Lord, You know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose." —Tobit 8:7

Many Christian marriages are breaking up, as if their unity in Christ was no more binding than the attachments of a secular marriage. Moreover, many Christian marriages are struggling to survive. One practice that contributes to the weakening of marriages is oral sex as part of foreplay in sexual relations. By oral sex, I am referring to oral-genital contact between spouses. There is no authoritative teaching of the Catholic Church permitting or forbidding oral sex as part of foreplay preceding normal marital sexual relations. Pope Pius XII taught: "The Creator Himself...established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation" quoted in The Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2362). The question is: "Is oral sex as foreplay 'within the limits of just moderation'?" There are reasons to maintain that it is not and is therefore damaging to true marital love.

First, oral sex is not natural. It is contrary to natural law. If oral sex is OK, then are anal sex or nasal sex also OK? There must be some natural parameters to sexual expression. Otherwise, we have little reason not to permit homosexual activity or even sex between humans and animals. Something must be natural, and therefore other things unnatural.

Second, I have been asked to counsel over a hundred married couples about oral sex as foreplay. After some time of discernment, not one has maintained that oral sex was a true expression of love. The motivation behind oral sex is often lust. The spouse is not the focus of the sexual foreplay; rather, sexual stimulation is the focus. It could almost be said that one spouse is having sex with sex rather than with the other spouse. This focus on sex rather than on the spouse is a poison to love and marriage.

Pray about this: "A man will reap only what he sows. If he sows in the field of the flesh, he will reap a harvest of corruption; but if his seed-ground is the Spirit, he will reap everlasting life" (Gal 6:7-8).

References:

Nihil obstat: Rev. Robert J. Buschmiller, February 1, 1996Imprimatur: † Most Rev. Carl K. Moeddel, Vicar General and Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, February 5, 1996

The Nihil obstat and Imprimatur are a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free from doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil obstat and Imprimatur agree with the contents, opinions, or statements expressed.

"Marriage Querries in the Philippines"

Q. What is the rule on marriage solemnized outside the Philippines in accordance with the laws in force in the country where they were solemnized? What are the exceptions?

A. Art. 26 of the Family code provides that all marriages solemnized outside the Philippines in accordance with the laws in force in the country where they were solemnized, and valid there as such, shall also be valid in this country ( the rule of lex loci celebrationis).

The exceptions are the following:

1. If either or both parties did not have he legal capacity to get married.

2. The marriage is immoral being bigamous or ploygamous.

3.Consent of one party is lacking because of mistake as to identity of the other.

4. Those subsequent marriages that are void under Art.53 of the FC.

5. One of the parties was psychologically incapacitated at the time of the marriage to comply with the essential marital obligations.

6. The marriage is incestous

7.The marriage is void by reason of public policy

Q. 1)What is the effect of divorce obtained abroad by an Alien spouse from his or her Filipino spouse?

A. Under art 26, (Second paragraph) of the FC, where a Filipino is married to a foreigner who thereafter obtained a valid divorce abroad capacitating him or her to remarry, The filipino spouse shall likewise have the capacity to remarry under Philippine law. (As amended by E.O. No. 227.)

"How Do YOU Work on YOU"

Self Inquire!

“ How Do You Work on YOU”

You begin by really paying attention to what YOU need to be fulfilled as an individual. Focus on YOU! Think about how you are being when you are with yourself. Self inquire!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself. . .

Are you happy?

Sad?

Disappointed in where you are in the relationship you have with yourself?

Angry?
Resentful?

Loving some or most of the time but not all of the time?

Do you like you?

When you are alone do you feel lonely?

Are you always blaming others for what happens to you?

Do you know that something is missing in your life and you are not quite sure what it is?

Are you always looking back?

Do you know what it feels like to live in the present; to really be present to what is going on?

Have you lost sight of what you really would like to have in the area of relationships?

Do you know specifically what YOU need from a relationship?
Have you really ever thought seriously about that?

Are you feeling sorry for yourself?

Upset because of the kind of people you attract into your life?

Have you reached a point where it is pointless to complain because you now know that relationships are what you make of them?

Do you know down deep inside that there must be something better?

These are just a few questions we can answer that will cause us to begin to understand that no matter how hopeless or great things look, they can always be better. We have a choice in how our lives turn out! Choice is our greatest power.

How do you work on YOU? You begin to get totally honest with yourself. You begin holding yourself accountable for who you are in the matter; how YOU feel about the way things are. Then. . . if you decide (and only when you decide) to do something different, you promise yourself (and keep your promise) that you will do everything within your power to be happy instead of right! In other words, discontinue justifying what doesn't work and begin to do something different.

How do you work on YOU? You read good books about relationships that stimulate your thinking; that inspire you to a better way of living. You attend seminars and workshops, not just about relationships, but those that stimulate you to change the way you have been. Become involved in a support group; one that supports you in being a better you.

You begin to journal; really getting honest with how you feel about things, what you think about things, how things "really are" instead of how you "think" things are, etc. Write it all down. Be honest with yourself! Read: For Your Eyes Only. Spend a lot of time thinking about what's happening right now, instead of dwelling on the past. Being concerned about something that has already happened and that you cannot change, keeps you stuck right where you are! You work on YOU!

What are the benefits of working on YOU? The reward for working on you is - you feel good about who you are! You really love you! Not the self-centred love that distracts you from being loving to others, but a genuine love of self; the kind of love you can share with others.
Loving you for who you are causes you to begin to feel like a whole person. At that time you may be ready for another relationship. Unless you wait for this magic moment, you may always continue to be disappointed with the relationships that show up in your life. Remember, like attracts like. Opposites do not attract. That is a myth!

If you cannot handle the most important relationship in your life - the one you have with yourself - then you will never be able to truly relate to the ambience of the coming together of two people. We spent so much of our time being concerned about the relationship we are in with someone else, that we forget about ourselves. This could be called "losing yourself in the relationship."

Many people agree that working on you takes discipline, determination and doing something different; changing your behavior! That is the key. The relationship we have with ourselves and the relationships we have with others are hard work. This, we know is true: We must work on them all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed, however, they must never be a struggle.

Relationships become a struggle when someone is not pulling their fair share of the load. It's hard to feel good about yourself, when you know you are letting your love partner down by not giving yourself full attention. It's difficult if not impossible to pay attention to the overall relationship unless you know how to focus attention on yourself FIRST.

Two broken people can't fix each other. You only have the choice to fix yourself! AND to begin, you have to acknowledge the problem. Broken people seem to attract each other because they can relate to, "Something is missing in this relationship!" The opposite is also true!

So. . . we must never stray from the path of self-discovery! We must always know where we stand with ourselves. The only way you can do this is to be attentive to, and intentional about having the best relationship with yourself that is humanly possible. This means you must always work on YOU first. When you are ready. . . a relationship with someone else will be there; you will find each other.

Can you imagine? Two, whole, healthy people. . . together. Each feeling good about themselves; loving themselves and sharing that love with each other.

Can you imagine? BOTH love partners working on the relationship they have with each other and supporting each other in their own personal growth!
If you believe it, really believe it, and make sure you are always doing the best you can to cause it to be this way. . . anything is possible. There is no other like you. This is it! Don't waste time!
Never stop working on YOU.

Marital Issues

I just came home from a group study, It was already 2 am in the morning, When I was about to hit my bed, I heared a scream from outside, crying for help! What shocked me is, the couple from my next room were quarreling... The girl was asking for help because the guy hit her. I really wanted to go and help, but it was no use because the guy shut the door and shouted "its just a marital problem" that can only be resolved by the two of them.Honestly I felt like my heart melt, I pity the girl so much, knowing that they just get married.

So whats the purpose of getting married at all? They should have been enjoying the what so called "honeymoon stage" I believed that before marriage, somehow there is a hint of what kind of person are you going to marry. Sometimes even your intuition tells you so, but you are stubborn trying not to notice it because you are already blinded by the feelings that you have for your boyfriend, dreaming that he is the Knight of your Shining Armor,your soulmate, the one who would be there to make you feel secure everyday. Well sad to know that it is only true in fairy tales.

Which makes me think so much if I still want to get married...I do like to say I do in the altar, to the person that I love. But thinking about the incident makes me think a lot if I really wanted to push thru with it! Well I believe that as long as both understand and respect eachother.

Another case that bothers me a lot is from my classmate, who told me about that after 40 years of her existence in this world, Its her first time to experience what it feels like to fall inlove, Not with her husband, but with her bestfriend, I really have a nice time talking to her, I was so amazed because after having 7 children with her husband she told me that she just married him because she knows that her husband love her so much and she dont feel the way her husband feel for her. The marriage was good for 10 years and after that, her husband started to have other woman as flings, infact sired 4 children from those other woman he had. That leads to my classmate's depression and she find a comfort to an officemate who is also married.She told me they had a lot of things in common, actually the guy has already shown sexual advances towards her, but she just decline, But its only now that she realized how much she like it, and told me she always think of the guy.One of the thing she pointed out to me, was the guy is younger than her, but the guy was very persistent. And the danger side was, If ever the guy would ask her again, she would really go for it!

Well, as much as I wanted to present to her the good and bad side about the issue, I know that she just wanted to be happy. So I just adviced her that She would follow what is in her heart and be sure that she would not regret anything after. Thats why in life we always have choices, as a test of how strong we are in carrying lifes problem. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is always a wisdom for it. I hope that she would make the right decision.

I did not sleep thinking. As of the moment I really liked someone so much, But I think he doesn't like me the way i do... But he makes me smile and he makes me feel very speacial.

LOVE-The Dance of life

You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life.I will be yours forever ...

There were two hearts who met in a dance. That moment was magical. There was a sweet song playing, there was harmony and soon, Love in the air. They fell in love and they started building castles in their dreams and promised forever with all certainty. But somewhere in the midst of the fun, they got lost in a dance, something went wrong but they can never do anything. They were just drifting away, their fortress falling apart. There were so many questions, but no one had an answer.

The music stopped and then there were silence.

When we truly love someone, we give our best and let that person see the pureness of our intentions. But sometimes that person makes us cry and hurts us for the wrong reason. That someone must have loved us but he has not loved enough to make him stand for what he truly felt.

Now we are faced with the seemingly impossible task of forgetting. We have burdened ourselves long enough but we still can’t get out of this emotional trap. Let us remember that the more we try to forget someone we love, the more painful letting go will become.Sometimes we never had to take that person out of our hearts at all, for he will always be there no matter how hard we try to drive him away. It isn’t his presence that makes this difficult. It is our stubbornness to accept our destiny that aligns forgetting next to impossible. We keep a cold face but deep in our hearts, there is still that lingering hope for reconciliation. Somehow, we still believe that we can rekindle small embers and relight the fire that once burned in our hearts. These thoughts give us hope but it also breeds the seeds of loneliness and despair.

The only way to forget is to accept and the only way to move on is to look ahead and let the footprints of the past be blown away by the wind of time. Only then can our hearts find a partner in a dance of life and hopefully never got lost again.

SEX- How to Enhance it!

Physical health is important to sexual pleasure. Cardiovascular conditioning usually improves sexual functioning, and exercises, such as yoga and dance, that promote spinal and pelvic flexibility, as well as facilitating the movement of energy through the body, are helpful as much for self pleasuring as for partnered eroticism.

"Quickies" -- brief or unexpected sexual encounters and stolen moments -- can be a wonderful form of sharing. However, scheduling special extended periods of time for relaxed erotic sharing is usually a blessing that invigorates your sexual life. Make time for sex, solo or partnered, when you are entirely unhurried, and not too tired. Create special occasions in addition to the routine pleasures.

The secret of a happier sexuality lies first in your personal commitment to create a more pleasingly erotic life for yourself. Second, honor your sexuality in all its varied aspects by being more playful, open-minded and respectful in exploring what you enjoy. And third, practice and communicate. Our sexuality is one of the greatest blessings that life has to offer: make the most of it!

Lovestory

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

I want to share to you the lyrics of my favorite old time hits by ANDY WILLIAMS, Actually I was surfing the net and I happened to read the review of the LOVESTORY a 1970 movie, although I havent seen the movie, but i guess the story is so moving that, we always do wonder why some good things never really last? and that leads us to the question; How long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day?

The novel tells the story of Oliver Barrett, IV, who comes from a long line of wealthy and well-respected Harvard University graduates. Partly to break the traditional Ivy League mold, the Harvard student meets and falls in love with Jennifer Cavilleri, a working-class, quick-witted Radcliffe College student. Upon graduation from college, the two decide to marry against the wishes of Oliver's father, who thereafter severs ties with his son.

Lacking his father's financial support, the couple struggles to pay Oliver's way through Harvard Law School. Graduating third in his class, Oliver takes a position at a respectable New York law firm, while Jennifer teaches at a private school.

With Oliver's income and Jennifer's salary as a teacher, the pair of 24-year-olds decide to have a child. After several failed attempts at conception, they seek consultation from a medical specialist, who, after repeated tests, informs Oliver that Jennifer has leukemia and will soon die.
As instructed by his doctor, Oliver attempts to live a "normal life" without telling Jennifer of her condition. Jennifer nevertheless discovers her ailment after confronting her doctor about her recent illness. With their days together numbered, Jennifer begins costly cancer therapy, and Oliver soon becomes unable to afford the piling hospital expenses. Desperate, he seeks financial relief from his father. Instead of telling his father what the money is truly for, Oliver leads him believe that he needs it because he has had an affair which led to a pregnancy.

From her hospital bed, Jennifer speaks with her father about funeral arrangements, and then asks for Oliver. She tells him to avoid blaming himself, and asks him to embrace her tightly before she dies.

The novel also includes the double meaning of a love story between Oliver and his father, highlighted by the scene between Oliver and his father at the end of the book. It isn't until after Jennifer dies that Mr. Barret realizes that she was ill and that the money was for her. When Oliver runs into his father walking outside of the hospital he tells him that Jennifer has died. Mr. Barret genuinely tells his son that he is sorry. Oliver replies, with tears in his eyes that "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

This is where the Song Lovestory was taken. I hope you would take time listening to the song while reading the synopsis, or If you have the means, go watch the DVD of the Movie. To complete the Ingredients here is the Lyrics; The song alone speaks so much emotions that when i hear it i want to cry... but this is life, and its reality... we can never be really happy unless we will feel pain.

"LOVE STORY"

Where do I begin?

To tell the story of how great a love can be

The sweet love story that is older than the sea

The simple truth about the love he brings to me

Where do I start?

Like a summer rain

That cools the pavement with a patent leather shine

He came into my life and made the living fine

And gave a meaning to this empty world of mine

He fills my heart

He fills my heart with very special things

With angels' songs, with wild imaginings

He fills my soul with so much love

That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely

With him along, who could be lonely

I reach for his hand, it's always there

How long does it last?

Can love be measured by the hours in a day?

I have no answers now, but this much I can say

I'm going to need him till the stars all burn away

And he'll be there

He fills my heart with very special things

With angels' songs, with wild imaginings

He fills my soul with so much love

That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely

With him along, who could be lonely

I reach for his hand, it's always there

How long does it last?

Can love be measured by the hours in a day?

I have no answers now, but this much I can say

I'm going to need him till the stars all burn away

And he'll be there

HEALTH-Postpartum Depression

What is Postpartum Depression?


Postpartum- refers to the period immediately after childbirth. When a woman has symptoms of depression during this period, she is said to have postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression is not the same as the "baby blues," a much more common condition that affects as many as three-quarters of new mothers. Because of hormonal changes that occur in the weeks after delivery, new moms often are emotionally sensitive and tend to cry easily. The baby blues is not a serious problem and it almost always goes away within a few weeks.

Postpartum depression is a different matter. It may begin at any time in the first two to three months after giving birth. The mother feels sad or hopeless and sometimes guilty or worthless. She is unable to concentrate and unable to take any interest in anything, even the baby. In some cases, the mother may feel overwhelmed by the baby's needs and become intensely anxious. This may lead to persistent troubling thoughts or obsessions about the baby's well-being and compulsive repetitive actions, such as checking on the baby constantly or phoning the pediatrician repeatedly to ask questions.

In a rare form of this disorder, which occurs once in 1,000 births, the mother becomes psychotic: that is, she is unable to recognize reality. This condition sometimes is called postpartum psychosis. The mother may have hallucinations (altered perceptions, such as hearing or smelling things that are not there) or delusions (false beliefs, such as the idea that her baby is possessed by the devil). This condition is extremely dangerous for both the mother and the baby, and once it has happened it is highly likely to happen again if the mother has another child.

Postpartum depression affects about 1 in 10 new mothers. A woman is more likely to develop postpartum depression if she has:

• A previous history of depression, including depression during pregnancy.


• Very few supportive family members or friends.


• A troubled marriage.
  
• Difficulty caring for her new infant, especially if the child has serious medical problems.


• Teenage mothers, especially those who are poor.

Fewer than half of women with postpartum depression seek treatment for the problem. Some new mothers are unaware that postpartum depression is a real, treatable illness. Others believe that they are expected to feel happy after having a baby, and are so embarrassed about their symptoms that they do not ask for help.

What are the Symptoms of Postpartum Depression?

A woman with postpartum depression can have any of the following symptoms:

1. Feeling depressed, with tearfulness or crying spells


2. Feeling anxious, sometimes with obsessions and compulsions, often about the baby's welfare or about being able to carry out responsibilities as a mother.


3. Feeling hopeless, worthless or guilty.


4. Feeling irritable or burdened.


5. Losing interest or pleasure in all activities, including pleasure in being a mother
   Changes in appetite. (either overeating or not eating enough)


6. Sleep problems (for example, difficulty falling asleep or waking especially early)


7. Appearing slowed or agitated.


8. Extreme exhaustion beyond the normal fatigue caused by caring for a newborn
   Poor concentration or indecisiveness.


9. Persistent thoughts about death, including suicide.


10. Difficulty caring for the baby

These symptoms may develop in the first days after birth or as long as three months later.

Prevention

If you are pregnant, you may be able to decrease your risk of postpartum depression by preparing yourself before the birth for the changes in lifestyle that motherhood will bring. Talk to other mothers and to your doctor in very practical, day-to-day terms about what it's like to care for an infant. Don't underestimate how much time you'll need with your newborn. Clear out as much time as you can during the period after birth. Also, don't hesitate to ask for help from your partner and others who care about you.

Often, postpartum depression is difficult to combat without antidepressant treatment. If you have a previous history of depression or postpartum depression, you should talk with your doctor before the birth about the possibility of starting antidepressant medication soon after your baby is born.

Treatment

As with other types of depression, a combination of psychotherapy and medication is most helpful. If a mother is exhibiting signs of psychosis, she needs immediate medical attention.

The most commonly prescribed antidepressants are in the group known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). They include fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), paroxetine (Paxil) and citalopram (Celexa). If you are breastfeeding, an important concern is the possibility of passing medication to the newborn. However, most antidepressants are unlikely to have much effect on the baby because only small amounts get into breast milk. The best approach is to discuss the choices with your doctors to assess the risks and the benefits in your situation.

A number of psychotherapy techniques may be helpful depending on the factors at the root of your depression, such as stresses, the quality of family or other social support, and personal preference. Education about depression and support is important for every woman with postpartum depression. Various types of psychological therapy are available.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is designed to examine and to help correct faulty, self-critical thought patterns.

• Psychodynamic, insight-oriented or interpersonal psychotherapy can help a person sort out conflicts in important relationships or explore past events or issues that may have contributed to the symptoms.


• Couples therapy can help the mother and father together figure out how to manage possible areas of disagreement or how best to organize child care and muster support.
  

You may begin to feel relief after starting treatment, but it usually takes at least two to six weeks before a clear improvement can be seen. You may need to try a few different approaches to psychotherapy or medication before you find the most helpful method of help. It is extremely important to keep trying until you get the help you need.

HEALTH-SEX AFTER A HEART ATTACK

I choose to write and research about this topic because it amuse me so much, I honestly think that people who have a heart disease have a high risk of heart attack during sex, as many cases had been reported of someone died while having sex because of heart attack. But this article explained fully, and answer the question; if "It is okay to have sex even after a heart attack?

If you have cardiovascular disease or have had a heart attack, you may have some concerns about sex. For instance, men with heart disease may experience erectile dysfunction. Erections depend on the arteries that supply blood to the penis, so it makes sense that atherosclerosis is the most common cause of impotence. But high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol levels, diabetes, and smoking — all leading cardiac risk factors — also increase a man's risk for impotence. To further complicate matters, many heart disease medication may cause erectile dysfunction.

The easy solution — taking an erectile dysfunction medication — may not be feasible. These medications, known as PDE-5 inhibitors, generate nitric oxide, a chemical that enables arteries to widen. The increased blood flow to the penis helps to produce an erection. The problem is that arteries elsewhere in the body widen as well, causing a slight drop in blood pressure. But nitrates also act on nitric oxide, so the combination of nitroglycerin and a PDE-5 inhibitor delivers a one-two punch that can cause a life-threatening drop in blood pressure.

The FDA has urged caution if you have suffered a heart attack, stroke, or serious disturbance of the heart's pumping rhythm in the previous six months, or if you have a history of congestive heart failure or unstable angina, or have low blood pressure or uncontrolled high blood pressure (above 170/110 mm Hg). And all experts agree that you cannot use PDE-5 inhibitors if you have any kind of nitrate in your system already. This means that men who take nitrates on a regular basis should not use PDE-5 inhibitors at all (see Nitroglycerin and Heart Disease). However, if you take nitrates occasionally or keep them on hand in the event you experience angina, you may be able to use PDE-5 inhibitors, but you should talk with your doctor first. Keep in mind that in this circumstance it may be safer to take sildenafil (Viagra) or vardenafil (Levitra) than tadalafil (Cialis), which is a long-acting PDE-5 inhibitor. Men who take Viagra or Levitra cannot take nitrates for 24 hours; with Cialis, you must wait 48 hours.

On the other hand, many people who have had a heart attack fear that having sex could be dangerous, possibly even triggering another heart attack. Research does show that cardiac problems can increase in the hour or two after sexual intercourse, but in reality, the risk is very, very low — even for people who've had heart attacks already. It's about as safe as walking up two flights of stairs. Studies also show that regular exercise markedly reduces the risk for heart attack during or soon after sexual activity.

Some people have angina during sexual activity. If this happens, you should tell your doctor. Doctors often recommend that people in this situation take nitrates before sex to avoid this problem. If you do so, however, it is important that you not use a PDE-5 inhibitor, as noted above.

The most important thing that we should always do is to exercise! that is the only way to lower the risk of having a Heart Attack. And to keep us young and healthy all the time!

LIFE- Abortion

I read an article about abortion, in that article it was not clearly explained what are the different elements, this is just a supplement to that article.. To raise more our awareness on how abortion is committed, and who are the person that are liable for it.. Under Philippine laws.

What are the kinds of abortion?

A)Intentional Abortion;

Elements:

1)That there is a pregnant woman.
2)That violence is exerted, or drugs or beverages administerd, or that the accused otherwise acts upon such pregnant woman;
3)That as a result of the use of violence or drugs or beverages upon her, or any other act of the accused, the foetus dies, either in the womb or after having been expelled therefrom;
4).That the abortion is intended.


B) Unintentional Abortion;

Elements:

1) That there is a pregnant woman.
2)That violence is used upon such pregnant woman without intending an abortion.
3)That the violence is intentionally exerted.
4)That as a result of the violence the foetus dies, either in the womb or after having been expelled there from.

C) Abortion Practiced by the Woman herself or by her Parents;

Elements:

1) That there is a pregnant woman who has suffered an abortion
2) That the abortion is intended.
3) That the abortion is caused by-
a) the pregnant woman herself
b) any other person, with the consent; or
c) any of her parents, with her consent for the purpose of concealing her doshonor.

D) Abortion practiced by a physician or midwife and dispensing of abortives.

Elements:

1) That there is a pregnant woman who has suffered an abortion.
2) That the abortion is intended.
3) That the offender, who must be a physician or midwife, causes, or assists in causing, the abortion.
4) That said physician or midwife takes advantage of his or her scientific knowledge or skill.